King Solomon, the poster child of Biblic wisdom. Often called the wisest man that ever lived.
Supposedly given, by god, the ability to discern and understand. In addition he received great power and riches. The wisest man that ever lived proceeded to squander his riches and immerse himself in the silken pleasures of his 700 wives and 300 concubines. He proceeded to fuck up and annoyed the very god that had had supposedly given him the aforementioned gift. Rather
reassuring to know that King Solomon is the standard by which wisdom is measured.
The most memorable example of the king’s wisdom involves two women and a baby
Very few have heard of the events in the Kings life that led to this historic example of wisdom. This wisdom espoused by churches, teachers and religions for millennia and touted as the wisdom each of us should aspire to.
Earlier, the previous day, King Solomon, had met with the court Vizier. The man informed the King that the royal coffers were greatly reduced in size, and at the current burn rate, would be empty in less that a year.
This news caused the King much distress. After pondering for some moments, in his infinite
wisdom, the king called his guards and had the Vizier removed from his sight and executed by
cutting him in two, as was the current fashion.
The King called for large amounts of wine and his royal belly dancers. After some hours of self-anaesthetizing and viewing the erotic undulations of his dancers, the wise king found himself wallowing in a pit of carnal desire. He called for wives and concubines to satisfy these royal needs. But, alas, it was not to be. Wine, worry and gluttony had left the King woodless. A new and
unpleasant experience for this historic protagonist. For most of us, it is difficult to relate to this kind of shame and embarrassment on a royal scale. An impotent potentate. The King flew into a
towering rage, fueled by wine, shame and testosterone. After some time demonstrating his ability to mimic a bull in a china shop, the wine overtook him and he fell into a deep slumber. Upon waking the next morning, King Solomon found himself assaulted by an epic hangover. But alas, this was the day for the Royal court to convene and settle the disputes of his subjects. Between massage,
foul concoctions, makeup and sheer will, the King walked to his throne, looking kingly and
all-powerful. What followed was the usual litany of perceived slights and hurts between his subjects. In pain and increasingly annoyed by the whining and sniveling, the Kings anger was reignited. Finally the last issue was brought before him. Two women squabbling over a child, each declaring that the child was hers. Unable to resolve their dispute, they had brought the matter to King Solomon for resolution. Both women stated their respective perspective to him, Whilst listening to their angry screeching, his headache returning with a an epic vengeance. It occurred to him, beheading the two women would result in the quiet he so craved. Being a man of such wisdom, he realized, killing the child, in the current fashion of bisection, would cause the women to suffer as he was suffering. He paused for a moment, then declared, in a kingly fashion. “Cut the child in half, and give a half to each woman.” The real mother, recognizing the imminent demise of her progeny, backed off and offered the pint sized doily snatcher to the other woman. In an unusual moment of lucidity and compassion King Solomon, recognized a mother’s willingness to sacrifice anything for her child, and declared her the real mother. And the dispute was settled. There was much joy and celebrating.
Wisdom is an odd word, like so many in the English language, its meaning has been distorted
by ignorance, myth and time. We have been led away from the power and cost of wisdom.
A noun;
- The quality of having experience, knowledge and good judgment.
- The natural ability to understand things that most other people do not
To be wise, what a load of crap.
First off, Wisdom can only be judged in retrospect.
It can only be judged from the distance of the future relative to other unforeseen events.
Secondly, Wisdom is a superpower, as un-human as throwing spider web silk from your wrists.
As light defines darkness and pain defines pleasure. Wisdom is defined by idiocy. To be human is to have both options fully available at all times.